New Light
by Sparkle Itamashii
Summary: If he’d just shut his trap… I could have kept on hating him. [taito potential].


* * *

Author: Sparkle Itamashii

Title: New Light

Warnings: Respect the rating. Please see my profile for details.

Disclaimer: Digimon and its characters, settings, and plot are NOT MINE.

* * *

**New Light**

* * *

Everyone had fallen asleep hours ago but I just couldn't bring myself to relax that much. Gabumon was curled around Agumon in a heap by my feet, both snoring softly as they slept. I could see Tai, across the fire, with his back to the burning logs. I don't know how he did it. Here we were in this completely unfamiliar world, god only _knows_ how far away from our homes, and now we'd been separated from our friends. Our _family._

TK…

I couldn't seem to tear my mind away from Takeru. He was out there without anyone he knew. If he'd landed anywhere like Tai and I had it was freezing cold and horribly dangerous. We'd been running into more and more digimon with black gears embedded in their skin. I felt like we were being stalked and hunted for something we never asked for or wanted and TK was out there facing it by himself. If he ran into danger like Frigimon or Mojyamon… he'd have to deal with it and I wasn't going to be there to help.

I'd sworn to protect him and now…

God, I was so useless.

You know… maybe that is what bothered me, more than anything. I knew Patamon could take care of Takeru. This was the digimon's world; they belonged in here and we didn't. In a scrap they were way more useful than I could be if it were just me and TK. I knew that. I hated that. Whatever I felt though, it didn't change how things were and if anything _that_ made it worse.

I turned over, closing my eyes tightly and uselessly trying to find a comfortable position. Screw that, there was no way I was going to sleep and I couldn't sit still now that I was thinking again. Pushing myself into a sitting position, I crawled to the edge of the cave where we'd taken shelter. I could feel the edges of the fire's warmth licking at my back still but the bite of cold was tart against my face and arms.

It was funny; here we were in the middle of an ocean bigger than anything I'd ever seen, cold and a little hungry… and looking out over those waters all I could think about was how startlingly beautiful it was. The sky touched the sea at the horizon and seemed to leak right into it, scattering glittering, ever shifting stars across its surface. At this time of night the water was so blue it was black. I could see our trail curving out behind us, sending shimmering, broken ripples across the gently rolling surface.

It was gorgeous.

It made me miss home.

Home…

Somehow I kept thinking that maybe if I just closed my eyes and wished hard enough I'd open them again and be sitting in my house or at the school lunch table. It never worked. We were still stuck on this… planet. This strange dimension where nothing was ever what it seemed and practically everything could kill you if you stopped paying attention for even a minute.

I shifted, listening to the fire crackle behind me. It was dying down again and it didn't look like Frigimon had returned with more broken wood. Hopefully we wouldn't be drifting too much longer anyway. I closed my eyes but opened them again almost immediately, twisting as I heard someone move. The fire caught my attention first and then my eyes settled on Taichi.

He looked worriedly back with those big, brown eyes.

I froze and we both just stared, silently.

With an irritated noise I turned away first, facing the frigid night instead. Admittedly I was still a little sore at the way Taichi took everything so nonchalantly. How could he be so concerned with going places in this world? Didn't he want to go home? His little sister wasn't here- didn't he want to get back to her? His parents? I couldn't understand why he didn't understand… me. I just wanted things to be normal again. Why didn't he get that? Why'd he always have to push buttons?

Of course he couldn't just close his eyes and go back to sleep, either. No, he had to get up and slither over to sit beside me. I didn't say anything, because Agumon and Gabumon were still asleep, but I scooted a few inches farther away. That earned me a curious look before he returned to staring out over the ocean.

"Can't sleep?" He whispered, barely audible over the lulling noise of the water and fire. I didn't respond and he curled his legs to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, watching the star-scape. "I know you're worried about TK… and I know you think I don't understand… but-"

"Yeah, Taichi. You _don't_ understand. You're so wrapped up in worrying about getting around and finding places here that you're ignoring what matters." I hissed, trying not to let my voice get any louder. "We don't know where we're going, we don't know how to get home; we don't even know where we _are_! And you act like we're out for a Sunday stroll. Aren't you _at all_ worried about the others? We could _die_ here, Taichi. Doesn't that make a difference? Don't you want to go home?"

I'd turned to face him while I ranted but he only stared placidly back, letting me finish before he sighed and dropped eye contact. "Are you scared we're not going to make it back? You've been so worried about TK… is it because you think he needs protecting or because you don't want to think about what could happen?"

All I could produce was a strangled noise- he'd hit the nail on the head, so to speak. I gave him an incredulous look but words still escaped me. He uncurled after a moment and leaned back on his hands. Looking sideways, he tilted his head a bit and smiled kind of wistfully in my direction.

"When things get tough and no one knows what to do… Everyone looks to me. They expect me to have a plan. What do you suppose the others would think if I told them… if I said I was just as scared as they were that we won't be able to get home? What would happen if I didn't know what to do? I'm lost, Yama. I understand you're worried about TK- if Hikari were out there I'd be worried sick for her. But I think that worrying over him is your way of trying to keep from worrying about the rest of it. You get so angry with me because I talk about moving forward… But I have to think about something or else I'd go insane worrying about everything else."

God… I pulled my legs tightly to my chest and wrapped my arms around them, burying my face in the nest they formed.

Why'd he have to go and say all that?

If he'd just shut his trap… I could have kept on hating him.

I heard Tai shift beside me again and when I peeked at him I saw he'd switched his attention to the ceiling. He clenched his jaw and smiled ruefully. "I don't know if we're going to get home, Yama." He said softly. "I don't even know if it's _possible_ to get home from here. But if there's a way… I'm going to find it. I'm going to try my best to get all of us through this alive."

Burying my face again, I muffled my sigh. "You're so dumb sometimes, Tai. You never give up, do you…" I grumbled.

The cheeky smile was practically audible in his voice as the Taichi I knew returned. "Nope! I never will, either, so you'd better just get used to it! Get some sleep, too, man. You look like you could use it."

I shot him a withering look as he turned over and clambered to his feet. He was insufferable, that much was for sure. But as I watched him briefly stoke the fire and take a concerned check on Agumon and Gabumon I could help but think that… eventually I could get used to it and maybe we could be friends. Just maybe.

* * *

/**End New Light**/

* * *


End file.
